They were nice.

Funny enough. Cute in certain lighting.

And then, one thing. A slightly weird laugh. The way they waved at the waiter. The way they texted “hehe.”

And suddenly? You feel nothing. Worse than nothing. You’re recoiling at the thought of them. It’s over. You’ve caught the ick.

And honestly? That would be fine; except it’s starting to happen all the time.

So… What Even Is “The Ick”?

It’s a term that’s gone viral and stayed viral.

An oddly specific gut-level rejection that turns attraction into embarrassment overnight. The ick means being repulsed by someone who was previously fine.

And sure, sometimes the ick is about valid incompatibilities. Hygiene issues. Mean-spirited jokes. Core value clashes.

But other times, it’s… the way they hold a spoon. Or that they called their mom “mama.” Or that they posted a cringe gym selfie in 2021.

That’s not always intuition. Sometimes, that’s avoidance dressed as instinct.

Why We’re Catching The Ick So Fast

We live in a dating culture where it’s easier to swipe than sit with discomfort. Where the illusion of infinite options makes every small flaw feel fatal. And where showing real interest, genuine, open, emotionally risky interest, can feel terrifying.

So instead of vulnerability, we lean on instant judgment.

“The ick” becomes a shortcut. A shield. A way to feel in control when emotional intimacy starts getting too close for comfort.

It says: I didn’t like them anyway, when maybe what you really felt was: I didn’t know how to handle being liked.

The Ick Isn’t Always About Them

Sometimes, the ick is a mirror. What feels raw or unready in you.

Because letting someone in means seeing them fully. And that’s… a lot.

Suddenly, their humanness is right there. Messy. Awkward. Familiar. And instead of confronting the scary thought “this could be real” your brain throws a trapdoor: Ew. No thanks. Goodbye. 

What To Ask Yourself Before Running

• Is this an actual incompatibility or just a weird little quirk?
  
• Would this bother me if I weren’t panicking about where this could go?
  
• Am I giving myself time to feel, or am I looking for an out?
  
• Is this about them or is it about me not feeling ready to be close?
  

You’re Allowed to Be Icky, Too

Newsflash: You’re weird. They’re weird. Everyone’s weird.

At some point, love means seeing someone’s small grossness and staying anyway. And letting them see yours.

That’s intimacy. Not spark. Not perfection. Not aesthetics. Just two people learning to not run the second things get slightly too real.

So next time you feel the ick creeping in, take a breath. You don’t have to stay. You don’t have to settle.

But ask yourself, are you protecting your standards? Or protecting yourself from being known?

There’s a difference.

And only one of them leads to love.